Why Are Children So Cruel?

Photo c/o Clipart

Why are children so cruel? A simple word or gesture can be so hurtful to another child. This may well be done without the culprit even realising but sometimes said on purpose.

Maybe they haven’t thought through their words or actions enough to realise the consequences or just can’t even see it from the other child’s point of view but that doesn’t make it right. These actions can then be made worse when the parents don’t react to the action or word and explain to the child why what they did/said was wrong or hurtful. I would like to think most parents would get their child to apologise if they had seen/heard what went on but so often children say or do things when there isn’t an adult around. Are they bullies or just don’t have the ability of empathy?

So as parents what can we do if our child is on the receiving end of these incidents – comfort them, obviously but how much further do we take it? Would you speak to the other child involved, their parents/teacher? Explain to the other child how horrid they are being? Accuse them of being a bully?

Where does it end? Will these children go one to be cruel adults or will they hopefully learn that you can’t say/do unkind things without consequence? How can we help them as adults?

My Baby Is Having A Baby

Son & Daughter 21 Years Ago

Waking up this morning to find a text from my eldest daughter was a bit odd but with the school rush etc I didn’t have a chance to ring her back. It wasn’t until about 10am I had the chance to sit down and ring her. What I wasn’t expecting was what she said – “hello grandma”. What? Did I hear her right? I’m going to be a grandma? Yes, I had. She told me she had done the test and it came up 3-4 weeks pregnant. Now if it had been me and I was in her situation I don’t think I’d have been so eager to tell everyone so quick. She has been seeing her boyfriend for a lengthy 4 weeks, neither of them have a job - in fact her boyfriend is only 17 and still at school until the summer when he turns 18. He is still living at home with his mum & daughter is spending most of her time there too after she moved back to her dad’s despite the house being up for sale. To say I was in a state of shock is an understatement. I admit to having a bit of a cry.

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So yes I’ve come round to the idea but I’m still not looking forward to telling my parents. It’s almost as bad as when I had to tell them I was pregnant 23 years ago when I was just 19.

Daughter with her little sister

A 21st Interpretation

Well it’s been far too long since I updated my blog so seeing as we had a very hectic weekend I thought it only too right to update you all on our two main events of the weekend.

So it started with hubby taking the kids out for the morning so I could get on with preparing the food for Sat night. It was my oldest daughter’s 21^st birthday and yes we were having a party! She’d told me that there were about 35 coming so on went the oven and timings were worked out (these later went out of the window). By 6 o’clock the food was ready and I was just about ready, kids were dressed and yes of course we were late. Quick text to say we were setting off soon and just last few bits to sort. Food was packed carefully in the car and off we went. I had to keep reminding hubby that there was food in the boot as he went over bumps and round the corners. “Oh yeah I forgot” was all I kept getting.

Arrived at the pub to find my parents and daughter there with her latest boyfriend. Set up the food, still running late. Her dad and his girlfriend arrived and just plonked the cakes on the floor for us to set up – grrrr, men!

We all sat around for about an hour and realised that the only other people coming were some of her dad’s family. So yeah that’s right none of her “friends” that she’d invited could be bothered to come and help her celebrate, no text, phone calls or nothing. Despite this we had a good time and yes we did all the silly dances, much to the amusement of the others. We left my daughter dancing the night away because we were going to the Royal Armouries the next day and the littlies were falling asleep.

So onto Sun and the day of the Interpretation Department’s big send off at the Royal Armouries.

If you don’t know the Interpretation Dept is being disbanded very quietly on 31^st March after 15years of showing us their fantastic skills at bringing history to life. Well they’re going as quietly as several men and a woman can in armour with swords, poll axes and loud voices. It is such a shame as they do a fantastic job and make history interesting and real for children and adults alike.

 

Well there were 14 performances on Sunday, there’s normally only about 4-6, and so you can see how much extra work was involved. Our dilemma – which ones to go and see?

I know one of the men in the team so I wanted to finally see him in action after only chatting to him on facebook occasionally because we were at school together. Due an injury though he wouldn’t be doing any fighting but I certainly wasn’t disappointed in his 2 performances as Britain’s most brutal executioner, Jack Ketch and then as British Prime Minister William Pitt the Younger.

My two nephews were with us too so it had to be the battles as the other choices – the two-handed sword combat, “The Soul of the Samurai” and the poll axe combat. Again, excellent performances from all involved.

It is such a shame that such an important part of the Armouries is going to vanish and I really don’t think the management have thought about the long-term effect this loss will have on the museum. As my friend said – it is not an interactive museum but the interpretation team certainly make it interactive. We can only hope that the management realise the error of their ways and bring back this fantastic team of people.

So if you find yourself in Leeds, before 31^st March, wondering what to do, then please take a trip down to the Armouries and see the last few interpretations before it’s too late and I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.

www.royalarmouries.org

I've Got A New Hat

Well I’ve finally had my breastfeeding peer support worker induction and have found out just how careful I have to be and how restricted I am about what information I can give out. Basically I am not allowed to mention North Yorkshire County Council unless I’m at one of their centres or sessions i.e. a Baby Café. This is to make sure myself, my family and any families I come into contact with are not put at any risk, which is a good thing. So therefore anything I say on here or anywhere else online will be my personal opinion but with the knowledge that I have had some additional training.

I’m really looking forward to be able to help as many mums as possible with breastfeeding either at the children’s centres or anywhere else. It just means that if I’m not at a NYCC session then I will have my “well informed mum” hat on rather than my “NYCC Peer Support Volunteer” hat on. Maybe this is a loophole in the system but if it means I can help more mums then great – that’s what I want to be able to do but I also want to do it safely without putting anyone in a risky situation.

I’m currently doing the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers’ Mother’s Support Module and so should be able to work under that hat easier and hopefully next year I will start the AMB’s Breastfeeding Counsellor training. This will take 2 years but hopefully this will mean I won’t be as restricted about how I can help other mums to breastfeed & in some cases stop breastfeeding because I’m certainly not against any mum that chooses not to breastfeed. I just want to give mums informed choices and support in their decisions.

So if you need any help with breastfeeding then please remember I’m a well informed mum unless you see me at Sherburn In Elmet Children’s Centre or Selby Breastfeeding Café. Both of which are great places to get support.

http://abm.me.uk/

One Very Special Little Girl

Ok well I’m supposed to be doing some training but I am too excited now to work.

A few weeks ago I had an email from Tommy’s asking people to nominate children for their Champion Children’s Awards http://www.tommys.org/Page.aspx?pid=805

Well I have a friend with a very special daughter so I hesitated for about 30 seconds before deciding I was going to nominate her for an award.

I sent the following email:

I would like to nominate my friend's little girl E for this award.

E was born in Nov 2007 at 28 weeks gestation weighing a very tiny 1lb 4oz. Despite being so tiny she proved to everyone what a little fighter she is and after spending an amazing 5 months in hospital she was finally allowed home with oxygen. I'm not sure exactly when she finally gave up her dependency on the oxygen but it was a bit of a battle for her with numerous trips back to hospital with breathing difficulties. Once again E fought all the odds and has gone from strength to strength. She has been left with chronic lung disease and severe deafness because of her prematurity but she's on the waiting list for cochlear implants so that should see another improvement in her very limited speech. She is currently learning to sign with the help of her fantastic parents. She started nursery recently and this has given her mum and dad a well-earned break each morning because she a lovely but very lively little girl. She really does deserve to win this award because she has battled against the odds and come out fighting. She is a very special and wonderful little girl and her mum and the rest of the family would be so proud to see her win an award like this.

Her battle to survive was followed not only by friends and family but also an online community that both her mum and myself are part of. I cannot stress deeply enough what this little girl has been through and how much she means to everyone that knows her in real life and also online.

To be honest I had forgotten all about it until yesterday when I received a lovely email from Tommy’s stating the E had won an award and would be invited to an award ceremony in London but they needed her mum’s contact details.

I didn’t want to hand out private details so did a very candid text, tweet & Facebook post to get hold of her mum to make sure it was ok. I’m not sure how much sleep she got last night but I didn’t want to spill the beans until Tommy’s had spoken to her. Thankfully she was over the moon and is now frantically doing some retail therapy to find a new outfit for them both.

I’m so glad I made the right decision and have made her mum very happy. She is a very special little girl and really really does deserve this.

4 Cakes, 2 Parties and a Birthday Tea

Well what a week it’s been! My mum and dad arrived on Thurs with a pre-birthday cake for Isabel but we didn’t get round to eating that because we were all going out for my nephew’s 5^th birthday at Pizza Hut with hubby’s side of the family. That was a bit stressful, partly because I just think it was too late and all the kids were tired from school but we survived.

Then came Sat and it was nephew’s party. In her wisdom, my sister in law had decided it would be a good idea to have the party at home. When we arrived there were several small boys just running up and down the lounge and they didn’t really stop until it was time to play a game and then eat. Her house isn’t the biggest and so it just seemed to have children everywhere you went. My two really enjoyed it though but I’m not sure we were popular with the other parents when both of them won the pass the parcel prizes. No we didn’t rig it!

Sunday and it was time for Isabel’s party. I had been trying to make her a birthday cake in the shape of Cinderella but it just wasn’t happening. I realised it really wasn’t going to work when I put the doll in the cake and it only came up to her knees! Isabel really didn’t look happy when I asked if I could break the legs off her doll, oops. Bad Mummy! So at the last moment, it was a mad dash off to Sainsbury’s for a substitute cake, leaving Isabel at grandma’s house so she wasn’t sick in the car. Managed to get her a Toy Story 3 one, not what she’d asked for but best we could do in the time. Finally got to the party venue, Polka Dots in Garforth – http://www.polkadotkids.co.uk/ and almost all her guests were there but still no sign of Isabel. The party went really well and then we all went back to grandma’s house to unwrap the presents. She got some lovely presents. (Mental note – must send out thank yous).

Tuesday 15^th Feb was her actual birthday so I invited family round here for a birthday tea. Of course this meant another cake. I had been to a different Sainsbury’s and managed to get her a Belle cake. When she saw it her face was a picture. It was just what she wanted! Woo hoo I finally got the right cake. Wished I’d done that in the first place though. House was manic and I spent ages in the kitchen sorting out food but it was worth it.

Now what do we do for Charlotte’s 2^nd birthday………….

Small Things Come in Beautiful Packages………Unless you want trousers.

Sorry but I have whinged about this to my hubby for too long and now I have to get it out.

For my birthday & Christmas I had asked for some Next vouchers so I could update my wardrobe. I desperately needed a new pair of jeans and previously had bought them from Next. I knew their short length ones would fit. How wrong could I have been?

It seems that since I last bought trousers from there that someone in their infinite wisdom had decided that the leg length of all trousers needed lengthening by 2 inches. So what used to be petite is now the length that regular trousers used to be and reg is what long used to be. Well at 4ft 11” a 29” inside leg is 2” too long. What research did the manufacturers do before they altered these sizes?

So anyway off I tripped to our local outlet village to the Next Clearance shop on the hunt for a pair of jeans. I scoured the rails looking at every pair. Yes you do have to search through every pair because they don’t think it’s a good idea to put the sizes on the hangers. There was 1 pair in my size but regular length – far too long. I was with my oldest daughter so as I walked away I was having a bit of a rant when a lovely member of staff asked if I was looking for something specific.  I told her what I was looking for and off she went. Back she came with about 5 pairs of jeans. Great, I thought. Nah wrong again. I could have petite or my size, not both. So I left empty handed.

Off we went to the Next shop to see if they had any in. I thought it might just be the clearance shop that didn’t have any in. Trailed round and I found 1 pair but they were just regular ones that were cropped length. They looked like they fitted. I asked a member of staff if they had any short/petite length ones in my size. No they don’t do them in that size. So same as the clearance shop I could choose leg length or fit.

I tried on the cropped ones and they fitted and were the right length. Fantastic! That is until I actually came to wear them for more than a minute or 2. They won’t stay up. As soon as I start to walk or bend over they start to work their way down so my backside would make a builder proud.

So do I keep them or try and return them and end up without any jeans to wear?

And what size am I? ….. well I’m a size 18. Not that huge and considering at least 40% of the female population is size 18 or above. Next are clearly not catering for their market.